When I Realized I Work For My Team
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about managing a team. Still one of the hardest parts of what I do. And look, I’m getting better, but the thing I always struggle with is this idea that everyone works like me. And they don’t. Which is good. But also hard.
Here’s a funny example. I had this idea that we should start a bowling league at 5:30 in the morning. That’s my ideal time. I don’t really drink, my kids have me running around after school, and honestly it just sounded fun. To my total shock, almost no one else was excited to throw strikes in the dark before sunrise. Weird.
But that’s kind of the theme here. Leading a team means remembering the team is not built in your image. They have their own rhythms, their own preferences, their own ways of working. And if you want to be a good leader, you don’t get to bulldoze that. You have to actually pay attention.
A good example happened recently. We had a presentation coming up. In my mind, presentations work best when they’re collaborative. Multiple people sharing the story. Everyone in it together. But I worked on most of the deck myself. The team was lightly involved. Two people I really wanted to present with me weren’t that comfortable presenting. I couldn’t understand it at first.
Then we talked about it. Like really talked about it. And it made perfect sense. I do this all day. I’m on calls, I’m pitching, I’m building decks, I’m in strategy mode nonstop. It comes naturally to me. It’s literally my job. For them, that’s not the case. And expecting them to feel the same way, without giving them the reps or the support or the chance to build confidence, that’s on me.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about what it means to actually work for your team. Yes, technically they work for me. But the truth is flipped. My job is to make their lives easier. My job is to remove friction. To support. To clear the runway.
I still love doing the work. I’ll jump into community management. I’ll build strategy. I’ll get deep into reports. But the older I get, the more I realize leadership isn’t about showing how much you can do. It’s about creating an environment where your team can do their best work.
Here’s another example. I love a late day meeting. Five o’clock? Perfect. The kids are doing their thing, I’ve got energy, let’s brainstorm. The team… does not feel the same way. At all. They want to wind down. They want to prep for the next day. They don’t want me showing up at 5 pm with a hundred ideas flying out of my mouth.
And when they explained that, it made total sense. It’s not about the meeting. It’s about the energy they need at the end of their day. And I can honor that.
When people ask me how business is going, I don’t talk about revenue or new clients or anything like that. My answer is always the same. My team is great. Because if you’ve ever managed people, you know that when your team is solid, when everyone believes in each other, supports each other, and actually likes working together, everything else gets a lot easier. Life gets easier.
So I guess the theme for me heading into 2026 is this. Listen more. Assume less. Meet people where they are. Remember you’re not building a team of “you.” And stay committed to being the kind of leader who works for the people who work for you.
And if the 5:30 am bowling league ever does happen, I’ll keep you posted.
